BASEBALL QUOTES

Players, owners, coaches, Commissioners, journalists... they've all come up, at one point or another, with a (not so) good baseball line, tirade, quote, or whatever. Here's a bunch of them, 45 to be exact. Let's see if you can recognize them and/or those who uttered them.

1/ One day, Cubs shortstop Billy Sturges was scuffing around in the batter's box trying to get settled when the pitcher said to him: "Keep diggin', boy, 'cause that's where they gonna bury you." Can you name the hurler? Answer

2/ What is the worst that Bruce Hurst, a former clean-living Padres pitcher has been heard to utter? Answer

3/ Senators pitcher Bobo Newsom, when asked if he had discovered any weak spots in a famous slugger's hitting, said: "He has a weakness for doubles." Can you name the slugger? Answer

4/ "How hard is hitting? You ever walk into a pitch-black room full of furniture that you've never been in before and try to walk through it without bumping into anyhting? Well, it's harder than that." Who said that? Answer

5/ What goofy catcher said: "To catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops and then to pick it up." Answer

6/ One day a rather (in)famous infielder/outfielder said: "Playing baseball for a living is like having a license to steal." Can you name him? Answer

7/ When Dodger owner Charlie Ebbets offered Babe Herman to send him on a trip around the world, what did Herman answer? Answer

8/ "Fans don't boo nobodies." What Hall of Famer said that? Answer

9/ What Hall of Famer is this the epitaph of: "I want to be remembered as a ballplayer who gave all he had to give." Answer

10/ "Watch out, Krauthead, I'm comin' down on the next pitch!" What boastful and ill-tempered player uttered those words? Who was he talking to? Answer

11/ "The space between the white lines - that's my office. That's where I conduct my business." Can you name the hard-nosed competitor who said that? Here's a hint: he owned the inside corner of the plate and would knock down his own mother if she crowded the dish. Answer

12/ Here's one of my favorite quotes, yet not one of my favorite baseball figures. Can you name him anyway? "It's designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything is new again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains comes, it stops, and leaves you to face the fall alone. Answer

13/ Speaking of a pitcher's fastball, Hack Wilson said "It starts out like a baseball and when it gets to the plate it looks like a marble." Whose fastball was he talking about? And what did the pitcher reply to that? Answer

14/ "You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain." First name "Leo." Last? Answer

15/ What pitch did Commissioner Ford Frick refer to in 1955 when he said: "A great pitch and one of the easiest to throw." Answer

16/ Who signed a baseball for Johnny Bench during 1968 spring training as follows: "To Johnny Bench, a Hall of Famer for sure." Answer

17/ What journeyman infielder once said: "When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove." Answer

18/ Who was the "lucky" 1960's Angels ace who said: "One day you can throw tomatoes through brick walls. The next day you can't dent a pane of glass with a rock. It hurts but you hang on, hoping it'll come back. Oh well, it's a helluva ride, the one on the way up." Answer

19/ Mets announcer Ralph Kiner: "Two thirds of the earth is covered by water, the other one-third is covered by...." Fill in the blank! Hint: he was a Phillies' eight-time Gold Glove winner. Answer

20/ Who was Sparky Anderson talking about when he said: "He's got power enough to hit homeruns in any park - including Yellowstone." Answer

21/ "Why pitch nine innings when you can get just as famous pitching two?" Cute quote, isn't it? So, who had this (not so) original view on pitching? Answer

22/ What was the way many broacasters preferred to announce that the youngest Alou brother had whiffed? And why? Answer

23/ "I'm mad at [him] for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now I have to throw him another." Who was Bill Lee talking about? Answer

24/ "There isn't enough mustard in the world to cover that hot dog." Darold Knowles on....?? Answer

25/ "I found a delivery in my flaw," said this sinkerballer. Who? Answer

26/ While preparing to make a comeback attempt, this pitcher quipped: "This winter I'm working out every day, throwing at a wall. I'm 11-0 against the wall." Who was he? Answer

27/ After one of his side-winding right-hander struck Phillies Mariano Duncan and Wes Chamberlain on consecutive pitches, Mets manager Jeff Torborg said: "He had great command. He hit them both in the same spot." Who was the pitcher? Answer

28/ "If I'm going to be a .400 hitter, I want to have more than my toenails on the line." What was Ted Wiliams referring to? Answer

29/ "September is pantyhose month. No nonsense." Can you name this would-be candidate for the Hall of Fame (if not for his drug problems)? Answer

30/ Part of a mother's letter to his son read like this: "...Edward, I have tears in my eyes while I'm telling you this, but if you do come home, please do not come to 915 East Russell Street. We do not want quitters in this family." Who was Edward? And why was his mother writing him such a harsh letter? Answer

31/ "The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen." Says who? Answer

32/ What Yankee third base coach once said to Lefty Gomez: "Gomez, you must be crazy. It took you 133 years to get to third base and you want to ruin it." Answer

33/ "I've never taken batting practice against him and I never will. I have a family to think of." Who was Astros first baseman Bob Watson talking about? Answer

34/ According to legend, when Brickyard Kennedy, an illiterate pitcher with the turn-of-the-century Dodgers, was asked what he wanted for dinner, what was his stock response? Answer

35/ When asked how he stays ready while on the bench, what did DH John Lowenstein reportedly say? Answer

36/ "It always did look like a toilet bowl. Now it has a seat on it. What was Whitey Herzog talking about? Answer

37/ "It seems to me the official rule book should be called the funny pages. It obviously doesn't mean anything. The rule book is only good for you when you go deer hunting and run out of toilet paper." What angry Yankee manager used to say that after particularly frequent run-ins with umpires? Answer

38/ During a New York Yankees' trip Greg Nettles once said: "We have a problem. [He] wants to use the bathroom and it says no foreign objects in toilet bowl." Who was "he"? Answer

39/ "It's like playing with marbles in a bathtub." What was Chicago White Sox pitcher Dave Lemonds complaining about in this 1973 quote? Answer

40/ "They all changed. Most of them got agents, and I ceased to talk to them. 'Like to use the toilet paper?' 'Dunno, I gotta talk to my agent.'" Who's complaining about today's players in this quote? Answer

41/ Who, as Chicago Sun-Times Mike Royko puts it, "loved pitching, fishing and drinking. When he died, they found him in a gin-filled bathtub with three drunken trout." Answer

42/ Talking about ball players during their "Doo" in front of the bathroom mirror who said: "Nowadays they have more trouble packing hair dryers than baseball equipment." Answer

43/ Who wrote the following:

The umpire has the awesome power
To send a grown man to the shower
Yet cannot, in the aftermath
Coerce his kids to take a bath. Answer

44/ Jack Lietz, one of the upires at the longest game ever played (over 8 hours) between Rochester and Pawtucket in 1981, said something rather famous after the game. Can you remember what it was? Answer

45/ Who once said he'd rather be the shortest player in the Majors than the tallest player in the Minors? Answer

ALL ANSWERS HERE

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(Last update: 10/26/2003 ).